The Ultimate Death Star Halloween of DOOM!
by Lord Brocktree
Summary: A not in advance: this is a story about Vader and his terrible adventure to Earth for Halloween. Includes Luke bashing, so Skywalker fans beware!
1. Let the doom begin!

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

  


Not in advance: this is a story about Vader and his terrible adventure to Earth for Halloween. Includes Luke bashing, so Skywalker fans beware!  
  
The Ultimate Death Sta Halloween of DOOM!  
  
Chapter One: Let the Doom Begin!  
  
"ATTENTION, PEOPLE!"   
  
Heads swerved around to look at their metallic commander. Vader, standing atop a small platform on the bridge of the Death Star, was very, very angry.   
  
"Finally. I'm sure you all know what month it is, and I'm sure you all know what holiday is coming up. And, above all, I'm sure you know what evil being will be visiting us this year." All the people listening shivered as Vader finished his sentence. Oh yes, they knew. They knew ALL too well.   
  
"We only have 24 hours to prepare. This is the first time he's arrived for Halloween, and we cannot allow the tragedies that have befallen the previous Christmases to happen this year! If it does, I'll execute you. All of you." More shivers.   
  
"Now, in the case that he starts acting up, I want you to knock him out with a sledgehammer and…" but Vader stopped as the doors to the bridge slowly hissed open. A shadowy figure stepped from behind the doors, his shrill voice rang throughout the bridge.  
  
"HEEEEEEY, DADDY! I CAME A DAY EARLY!!"   
  
Everyone on board the bridge winced; some even began to cry as Luke Skywalker pranced across the bridge of the Death Star over to his father.  
  
"Yup, I wanted to see the best Dad in the world a day early this year! Aren't you glad!?" Luke's annoying voice echoed throughout, and those who weren't crying were edging towards the doorway.  
  
Vader's eye twitched as he hissed his answer through gritted teeth. "Oh yes, REAL happy. How could anyone NOT want the most annoying dolt in the world come visit him A DAY EARLY!?"   
  
Luke stared for a while before laughing and punching his father lightly on the shoulder. "Aw Dad, you're so funny! HAHAAH!!!"  
  
Twitch.  
  
"So," Vader started slowly, "what wonderful plan of pain and suffering do you have in store for me THIS year?"   
  
Luke thought for a moment before smiling and pulling a rolled up piece of paper out of his pocket. He unrolled it and showed it to Vader.   
  
"Yup, I want to go HERE," Luke began, pointing to a circular blob on the map. "It's some planet called 'Earth', and it's supposed to have real good trick-or-treatin' places. We could get a lot of candy, and it would be fun!"  
  
Vader stared at his son in disbelief. _There is NO way he's my son,_ he thought angrily, _besides being some sort of genetic failure, there's no other place he could have picked up his overwhelming amount of stupidity!_   
  
"It's a craptacular plan, really, but WHY do you want to go trick or treating? First, aren't you too old? And second, why go to a planet where psychopathic fangirls will smother us with autograph books!?" Vader snapped, his hands clenched into fists at his side. His left eye twitched in anger as Luke stared blankly at him without an answer.   
  
"WELL!?" Vader yelled, sending all of the members of the bridge fleeing towards the door- all except Luke, who was still staring blankly at his father as if the answer was written on his forehead.  
  
"Can someone get me a sledgehammer!?"  
  
Vader's question was of course left unanswered, seeing as how everyone had left. Vader stared at his son, who was by now inspecting the "pretty buttons" on the control panels instead of actually paying attention to his nearly-exploding-with-rage father.  
  
Oh, this would be a LONG day.


	2. The Emperor

Disclaimer: Other pgs.

"Daddy! DADDY! DAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDY!" said Luke Skywalker as he tugged on his fathers cape. "I'm hungry! When will ship get to Earth? I WANNA KNOW!"  
"SHUT UP! YOU STORMTROOPER!" roared Vader to a stormtrooper coming onto the bridge. "HOW LONG UNTIL WE GET TO EARTH?!?!"  
"S-s-sir, I-I d-don-n't kn-n-now." said the Stormtooper stuttering, frozen in his tracks.  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!?! WE'RE ON THE BLASTED BRIDGE!!!! AND WHAT IS A STORMTROOPER DOING ON THE BRIDGE ANYWAY?!?!" said Vader his suit laboring to keep up with his oxygen intake.  
"T-t-the -E-e-emp-porer-r r-req-quests-s you t-to m-m-m-meet w-w-with him" said the Stormtrooper whimpering.  
"I WILL NOT TOLERATE WHIMPERING! FROM EITHER OF YOU!" Yelled Vader, turning to face, Luke, expecting him to be crying when- LURCH! The ship groaned as it left Hyperspace. "WHAT HAPPENED?!?! LUKE! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!"  
Luke, somehow had gotten hold of his lightsaber, and had slaughtered half the bridge crew, the rest were huddled together in a small corner, whimpering. Also it looked like he had destroyed the Nav system, so the Hyperdrive had shut down.  
Twitch. Vader smacked his forehead and force choked the Stormtrooper, as he was doing so he asked, "WHY DIDN'T YOU FOOLS TELL ME?!?!"  
A brave officer said, "Well, he said, you said that he could play with your lightsaber, and practice on us. Sir."

Twitch. _This, is the smartest part of the crew? _"Do you think that I would let that," pointing to Luke, who was currently outside the bridge poking stormtroopers helmet's while laughing like an idiot, as they try to get him to stop. "Mess with my lightsaber?"

"No, sir." said the officer shakily.

"Good now will you go get me some coffee?" said Lord Vader as the officer strode off, "Oh yes, I like extra LIGHTSABER WITH IT!" yelled Vader hurtling his lightsaber at the fool.

"Ack!" the lightsaber had chopped him in half.

"Daddy?"

"Huh?" said Vader startled. _How does he do that?_

"Daddy, I'm hungry, I WANT FOOD!"

"Then go eat!"

"Where?"

"The mess hall!"

"What's a mess hall?"

_He is not my kid! How can he be soooo stupid?_ "Luke, just go out of here turn left at the next corner, then right, pass two more corners take the ladder down, then turn right, and there you are!"

"Oooooooooooooooooooook Dad!" said Luke before he hugged his father. "You're the best dad ever!"

"Err..." said Vader as he strode off to the holonet room, to contact the Emperor. He activated the receiver.

"Sup dawg!" said the Emperor. (This is the translation) (Hello Darth Vader.)

"Wazzup meh homie gee dog?" asked Lord Vader. (Yes my master, how may I serve you?)

"What's hangin' over there." (What is your report?)

"Luke meh son be razin' frazin' over here." (Luke is being very annoying.)

"True dat? Razin' frazin'? Be diggin' it over here in meh biggo stoner castle. I be thinkin' there be some homies 'ew don't be likin' the system and be hatin' me 'n the fuzz. An enforcer gonna pass da rap, den use an equalizer on dat homie, he gonna be erased. (Really? Annoying? I'm having a party tonight at Imperial Palace. There are some rebels here. A stormtrooper will give the charges then shoot her, she'll be dead.)

"Da homie be hatin' at yo castle! Dat no good!" (What!?!? A rebel at the Imperial Palace?!?!)

"True dat." (It's true.)

"'Ew be dat homie?" (Who is the rebel?)

"Da homie be Leia Organa. (The rebel is Leia Organa.).

"Naw!" (No!)

"True d-" someone talking to the Emperor is heard faintly, "Dawg, we bez have'n a baaaaaad situation! Da homie has escaped! (Yes- Darth Vader we have received news that Leia Organa has escaped!)

Where be she headed? (Where is she headed?)

"She be head to Pizza Hut or she gone from dis planet! Meh sources say dat she be gone! (She's either going to Pizza Hut or, escaping the planet, as my sources say.)

"You be wantin' me to be catching her?" (And you want me to catch her.)

"O' course." (Of course.)

The Emperor terminated the link and Vader strode out into cauos, Stormtroopers rushing about, sirens blaring.

"What's going on here?" said Vader angrily.

"We have a rebel ship inbound, we are preparing to board."


End file.
